It’s gonna work this time, I just know it…
With my eyes completely riveted to my computer monitor, I leaned forward, crossed my fingers with on one hand, and hit Ctrl + Enter with the other.
A split-second later, this flashed up my screen:
 ERROR: column "d_table.column" must appear in the GROUP BY clause or be used in an aggregate function [2018-11-15 16:27:15] Position: 285
GAH! Piece o’ junk!
Shaking my head, I slouched back down in my seat, and glared at my computer.
Well maybe if it tried this…
I quickly tried “this”, fingers clickety-clacking on the keyboard just as fast as I could manage. And then, once again, I held my breath and hit Ctrl + Enter.
My screen flashed for a moment — and then:
 ERROR: Invalid Parameters [2018-11-15 16:29:37] Where: PL/pgSQL function my_stored_procedure(timestamp without time zone,timestamp without time zone,integer) line 6 at RAISE
I slumped backwards, burying my face in my hands.
Sometimes I really hate PostgreSQL!
Taking a deep breath, I lifted my head, and without really thinking about it, glanced down at my watch. Just in time to see the digital numbers change from 4:29:59 to 4:30:00…
In the back of my mind, a red flag went off — something important happens at 4:30. Something I should really pay attention to. But at the moment, my thoughts were still very preoccupied, trying to figure out why my stupid SQL query was failing.
Then it hit me:
4:30 is my latest possible departure time for the bus. If I don’t leave RIGHT NOW, I’m gonna miss it!
Without a moment’s hesitation, I tore my eyes off the glowing screen, shut down my laptop and started unplugging all the various cords and cables that attach it to my dock. I quickly shoved it in my backpack, grabbed my coat and hat, and literally ran for the door.
By the time I flew down the stairs and out the main doors into the cold Autumn air, I glanced at my watch again — and this time it showed 4:32.
I’m not gonna make it!
With a mile and a half (and 4 ridiculously slow traffic lights) between me and the bus station, I figured it was gonna take a flippin’ miracle to get me there on time.
Fortunately, however, I just happened to have a flippin’ miracle:
A beat-up old Huffy mountain bike that I bought from a local thrift store for $15.
Y’see, the company I work for moved offices earlier this year, and although I used to really enjoy walking to and from the bus station each day, our new location is just barely too far for me to walk now. Ambling at a brisk pace simply can’t quite get me there on time — so, about a week after our big move, I went to the nearest thrift store and threw down a Lincoln and a Hamilton.
And, boy, what a great investment!
My Huffy is a beastly little bike, creaking and rattling with every turn of the pedal, but it definitely gets me where I need to go.
Plus, it was so affordable, I don’t feel too bad keeping it here in town all week long. I just lock it up at the bus station and keep it there. If it gets stolen, I’m really not out that much.
Heck, the lock is probably worth more than the bike!
At any rate, I hopped on my trusty orange steed, and I rode.
Ten minutes later, I rolled into the bus station. And although my legs AND my lungs were on fire, I totally had 3 minutes to spare!
I still don’t know how I timed all the traffic lights so well, but I’m definitely glad I did.
As I hurriedly locked my two-wheeled stallion to the bike rack, I felt a surge of gratitude.
I’m so thankful for my thrift store Huffy!