Can’t Fix STUPID!

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MAAAAAaaaahhh!

I was jolted awake by a shrill, blood-curdling wail. My eyes snapped open. I jumped out of bed and ran to the open window, pulse racing, adrenaline pumping.

What in the world was that terrifying sound?!

I frantically surveyed the backyard, trying to figure out which animal was being murdered. But the only thing that met my eyes was a beautiful June sunrise. Perfectly peaceful and serene. The birds were twittering. The chickens were scratching contentedly. Everything appeared normal.

In fact, I was just about to shrug it off and go back to bed. Maybe I’d just been dreaming…

And then it came again:

MAAAAAaaaaahhh! Continue reading “Can’t Fix STUPID!”

Jumping Through Windows

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Back in my college days (some 10+ years ago) I lived in a small, out-dated basement apartment with 3 other guys. I’d never met a single one of them before moving in. And, to be quite honest, even after I got to know them, I kinda went out of my way to avoid spending time with them.

Don’t get me wrong, they were all pretty great guys. I certainly didn’t dis-like any of them. It’s just that, as a general rule, I’m not a very social person.

I would go home to my parents’ house almost every weekend (free laundry is the best!), and quite often, as soon as my homework was finished on any given week-night, I’d grab my backpack and take off to spend the night up in the mountains by myself — usually showing up to class the next day with grass stains on my knees, pine sap on my shoes, and smelling like a campfire. As a matter of fact, I later found out that my roommates usually referred to me as “Mountain Man Nate.” Continue reading “Jumping Through Windows”

Breath of the Wild

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I skidded to a halt at the top of Big Hill, and stood there, panting. Using the back of my palm, I wiped the sweat off my glistening forehead. Before I could even turn around and whistle, I was joined by my dog Ryu, who was also panting up a storm.

For the past half an hour, we’d been running as fast as our tired legs would carry us, and scrambling up whichever random deer trail caught our fancy, steadily zig-zagging our way to the top of our little backyard “mountain” — (if a 1.5 mile, 1,200 foot climb can really be considered a mountain) — and now we’d reached the top! Continue reading “Breath of the Wild”

Why I Always Carry A Knife

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It should have been a nice, quiet, relaxing walk — just a fun little afternoon stroll with the family, y’know? It certainly started out that way… Sure, the sky was a little overcast, and the road was a little muddy, but it wasn’t anything too crazy. At any rate, Lindsey and I certainly weren’t expecting to have any adventures. And I definitely didn’t expect to be needing my knife!

But alas, only 5 minutes into our walk, there I stood, gripping my knife with white knuckles, my breathing heavy, my heart hammering in my chest.

And less than 2 feet in front of me stood a raging 4-point buck! Continue reading “Why I Always Carry A Knife”

Makin’ Bacon!

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The sky was a sad, dull gray. Its overcast frown seemed to sap the life and energy and color out of everything it touched. The world around me was solemn and subdued. “Melancholy” would be a good word for it. A cold, wet wind was blowing steadily from the South, moaning a slow, mournful tune. Raindrops were pelting loudly against the corrugated tin of our pig pen.

All things considered, it was a pretty miserable day to be outside.

But there I was, standing dejectedly in the rain, and wishing deeply that I wasn’t.

I always get that way on butchering day though. As much as I enjoy cutting meat (and all the delicious meals that follow), I always hate the first part; the part when you actually have to put the animal(s) down — and our pigs were no different. Continue reading “Makin’ Bacon!”